Clean

The adage says ‘you’ve made your bed, now you have to lie in it’. First off, I never make my bed (sorry Mom). Secondly, what’s stopping you from just dusting the bed off and make it up again? My homemaker skills notwithstanding, you don’t have to sleep in a bed in dirty sheets unless that is your prerogative. The task is simple; you grab a corner, pull back and shake.
‪#‎StartOver‬

Jeff vs Queen West Hipsters. 

Hodman: They closed down that  Church with the ‘Out of the Cold’ program for the homeless to put in one of those hip ‘Anthropologie’ stores. What’s next? Damn that article stating Queen West was trendy! It gave the hipsters justification they needed!

Jeff: That is the epitome of gentrification. 

Hodman: Word. 

Utilities Not Included | Renter life

Excuse me?

Under ‘security deposit’ on this application there’s just a photo of what looks like, of course I could be mistaken, a loaded gun and what seem to be written….

‘Good luck’

That may or may not be written in the previous applicant’s blood? I mean I still want to know the square footage of this place.

Whoa, Whoa – What do you mean utilities included?

#TorontoRenting
#Rent #WarZone #MurderHeWrote

Living The Dream

Jeff: If we’re going to Sneaky Dee’s on a Tuesday, we should have Fajitas, not Nachos.

Chad: You memorized the night specials?

Jeff: Chad, don’t take this away from me. I’m single, depressed and I live on my mother’s couch.

Post Script:

Nothing at American Apparel fits my Giant 6’4 Body. It always looks like I ate a hipster. 

Most Improved Student

Hey there universe, It’s Jeff again. Not that one. The Black one. I sit on the left side of the hall. I know it is hard to keep track. I get it.  Anyhow, whatever lesson you have, I did not get it. I went to the lecture. I sat in the front row. I took notes. Sure, I doodled a little in the margin but I was paying attention.

Dude, that one lecture could have been cut by like 30 minutes. I’m just saying. But I digress. I am still uncertain what you are trying to communicate to me. What’s going to be on The Final. I would totally review my notes, re-read your holy book but honestly could you just let me know what you think I should know? I’m begging you for mercy and signal what you want from me.

Until this point, I’ve been doing slightly above average. But I’m ready to be extraordinary. But I don’t know what step is next. The last few lessons have been muddled. I mean I showed up close to on time. I only fell asleep and drooled on the table that one time. I keep pestering the TA for the true meaning, She keep saying the answer is 42 but I keep getting 37. Clearly, I missed something and mathematics had never been my strong suit. I’ve watched closely. Observed. Done the exercises. But I’m not sure I’m getting a passing grade. It’s a new year so I’m asking you directly what you want to see in me.

/signed

Most improved student.